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The destruction of the environment
My car

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I have got rid of my old 2.8 V6 Volvo. Many of you will be sad to hear this, but I can assure you the car has found a new purpose. I decided to give the fish in my local river a new home. Pity I couldn't get the petrol cap off, as there was still half a tank in it. Let's hope the fish enjoy their new home.

The replacement?

A Saab 9000 2.0 16v Turbo

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Had to remove the catalytic converter so that I could fit a large bore exhaust. The original was far to quiet, you could hardly hear the engine. Removing the cat also allowed me to run on four star. 20bhp increase. On the first test run I ended up having to remove bits of cat(4 legged variety) from the front grill. No damage to the car though.

Discovered a new device on the internet that makes lots of black smoke come out of the exhaust so that the police cameras can't see your registration plate. As a bonus it also renders chasing police cars blind. Handy! Will let you know how I get on.

Late news: Found fish floating in my local river. Have told my MP and hopefully the culprits will be found. Personally, I think it's the fishermen. They're a nasty lot. One of them threatened to kill me when I donated a new home for the fish. I reckon it's because the fish can hide in the car and he can't get them. He must have used poison to kill them. I'll miss them.